Is it wrong? Seriously??

Is it really true that certain activities could only be done by a couple? When I questioned so, I was branded as innocent… but… seriously? I had been to movie with my guy friends before… okay, technically speaking, I was with several female and guy friends, but still… I do not see the why-not for a guy and a girl to watch a movie together, being platonic or flirtatious…

And what more important, it is the person you went out with that make all the matter better or worse. If you are going for a movie with a soft guy (not from my mouth, mind you), it is actually okay and be taken consideration as platonic friends hanging out and have fun; however, if you went out with a guy with a romantic relationship, most people might scrutinize your reason being with him… Ironic, is it not?

My point of view is that we can do whatever we want when we do not care about all the thoughts swimming around in other people’s mind… with that, whatever position you are in, you are carefree and just enjoy yourself to the maximum… Nothing is wrong unless proven with concrete evidence…

The Horror of Perception / Convention on Couples

   

Couple Dynamics

 

Look at the formula above: The two common perception that we know in general is the first and the second – if he is handsome and she is ugly, then he is definitely a prick; and that if she is pretty and he is hideous, then the woman is for sure after his money… But seriously, how can we, as third parties, know what exactly is going on? Perhaps there is indeed some chemistry bonding going on between them that makes the sparks of love follows. 

This is what perception can do to us. I have a friend who likes to say, “Most people this, most people that”, but hey, there are many people out there. If you do not have the hard cold data to back you up as in questionnaire or statistics, maybe it would be a time to zip up. Then, that is the very point that I am saying right now. That is exactly what perception can turned you into. One is okay, two is okay, but when there are thousands or millions of such events or incidents happened, then it will turned out to be the equations that you could see above. 

It turns scary when the innocents are washed along into the big waves. For example, the generation after my sister… They say with 3 years gap, that will create a generation gap. Anyway, the story is as such: Those that were of that age tends to get into pregnancy pre wedlock and then throw themselves into marriage status. When such events happened constantly, those who wants to get married with pure intention in their hearts (without the pregnancy), people will immediately prone to think they marry because of the unborn child without actually investigating whether there was even a new life forming in the lady’s womb or not. That is how scary it is. 

Trend: a perception terminology. When you use the word “trend”, you are calculating the facts according to what you are able to see. Like in fashion, trend means A, who is a fashion icon wears this outstanding attire, in which B follows in pursuit, and then C comes along and everyone until Z took the form and voila, you get a figure and a trend. the other factors, especially internally are being ignored. 

It is extremely easy for us to judge people based on their looks, achievement and assets; however, to really analyse before judging, if you can do that, that would be awesome! Hence, do think twice before jumping into conclusion and adding to the figure of “Perception / Convention”.

Busybodies, shoo~~~

On Tuesday, my friend told me a harsh reality: people, especially Asian, as she says, are nosy people who want to poke in everything they could discovered. In this case, celebrities had the hardest blow when these busybodies managed to crack one tiny black spot throughout their life. That is rather annoying. Celebrities are also human being like us: So what if they married secretly and you do not know? You have the rights to know about this? First of all, who are you to meddle with any of their affairs? Perhaps it is time for you to look onto the talent and humour of the actor or singer rather than these none-of-your-business thing. And in one of the chinese proverb, they say, love your beloved’s goods and flaws; however, this is not a flaw at all. They are just life files of the celebrities… So what if they are discovered to have an active sex life? What are you to judge them? The only difference is that you might live the same light but not under the limelight!! These people are just plain annoying…

Come back down to earth, celebrities are not the only one who suffered this kind of mistreatment. Commoners such as you and myself will receive that kind of treatment as well. I remembered once when I was working in a departmental store… I saw Malays wearing long black skirt and I have one at home too. So a few days later, I donned on it. Guess what?! My chinese supervisor saw me and say, “You cannot wear long skirt” and I asked, “Why, she can wear it. Why can’t I?” in return, she says, “She is M, you are C.” Feel really want to crack her head up now… As long as it is within protocol, why I cannot wear? They only say white blouse with collar and black pants or skirt. In which part did I violate the rules?

I am a person who, perhaps in some point of view, stubborn. Well, I am a taurus after all. I love the feeling of being a unique individual. That is why I do not understand when people would stare or gauge when you reveal a fraction of your valley. In Europe, it is just a norm. Or that people always have comments on how you dress, or being nosy, poking inside your results and comparing whether I get a greater marks than another person. Me? When it comes to result, it is a touch-and-go for me. Once finished, it is done. Why still hang on for your dear life?! Nothing too valuable about it anyway.

My dad is my shining knight of armour. He always advised me not to wear those valley-revealing clothes… He says humourously once, “I think I have to be your bodyguard, shielding you from the ogling uncles!” However, he also says this, “Why you cannot wear these outfits in the house?” “You always wear like that, valuable asset also become liability already.” Haha… He is such a funny man. Ti amor, mi papa! I believe in one principle: you buy, you wear; you have it, you flaunt while they are still alright to do so. I am in my early twenties now. How long can I flaunt? And it is pretty (that is a minimization actually) hot out here. Spaghetti and bare-back became my dearest friends (of course in a material kind of way; flesh and blood friends are another matter here) LOL…

In conclusion, what I want to say is that:

1. Busybodies, it is perhaps time to repent. Look on the bright side. Do not overrun the celebrities with your vulture-looking eyes, scrutinizing them under a microscope, even examining every speck of dust that might be in their lives

2. Andy Lau (and others), I will support you!!! No harm done for secretly getting married. Those fans who scrutinize for your action just because you did not make it out in the public or because they disapprove of your choice is not true fans of yours. Me? I do not considered as being a great fan of yours, but I do not judge you based on your marriage certificate.

3. Nosy people in commoners’ realm, you too should do something about yourself and not fooling around, gossiping about others…

Physical sufferings

When it comes to conventions, the female gender always falls under the victim’s category: you have to be physically attractive, slim and all; sometimes, even being an empty-headed and dependant is alright in some cultures.

That is why the slimming products and makeup industries florish like non of their business; however, women suffered: from aneroxia, self-conscious everytime when there are whispering going on among their friends, and well, it’s a lot of pressure and it’s tiring, you know. The main reason would only point to one thing – social convention. And whose to be held responsible to this?

Honestly, I don’t care much about my appearance. I’m not as pretty and slim as the others, but I like to dress myself up. Unfortunately, I often received harsh, or you might say, “healthy-and-conventionalist-comments”. What “I really don’t know why people with big arms like to wear sleeveless top” or “You should slim down already” or “This is the max already, you shouldn’t take another pound on yourself”, remarks like that.

So what if I don’t follow the convention? So what if I’m not your perfect image of a lady or whatever it is called: a fair skinned and long silky hair woman with slim figure and long, slender legs and follows whatever my husband tells me to?! Who are you to judge?! As far as I’m concerned, those who judge a book by its cover is the empty-headed…

Not only women, men nowadays are also preys to our “beloved” social convention. For those who succumb to their fear of rejection by our society, I pity you. As for those who still continue their fighting, I sincerely salute you. Just like what ‘House Bunny’ said, be who you are, who you really are, and the rest? They can go to hell, maybe? Or just the north pole? Either way, I’m okay.